The Hobbit.

As Tauriel knelt beside a lifeless Kiri, she wept uncontrollably; experiencing a pain never felt before. “If this isn’t love, I do not know what is” she said; acknowledging the presence of King Thranduil, son of Oropher who was watching over them silently. “It hurts so much” she continued.

“Because it’s real” he assures her; clearly a sign of his dying arrogance. Thranduil who was once convinced that there could be no alliance, let alone feelings between a dwarf and an elf, now knew that love has no boundaries.

It was never in the books, yet it became a part to remember.

The way you make me feel

Hey pretty penneh with the saree on.
Un kolusu sathethil kaachel vanthetheh!
Azhagin sigeram pol nee vanthai.
Un nadai, pechu, aadei ennei kavernthetheh!
Sattru thirimbi ennai paarpaya
Ennidem vaa panneh, en uyir neethaaneh
Oru mutham koduthu, iru murai sol
Endrum nee enakku mattum thaan sonthem

(Inspired by “The Way you make me feel by M.J)

lady_in_red

Before 30

Before i hit 30, I am going to:

1) Go on a camping trip with a solid group of your friends, a cooler of drinks, and enough grillable meats to last for at least twice as long as we actually need

2) Learn how to make my favorite restaurant dish

3) Go an entire Saturday without a smartphone, and intentionally get lost

4) Approach someone at a bar who seems cute and cool, and without even thinking about it, just start up a conversation with them.

5) Paint my room a really odd color

6) Go to a country where i know nobody

7) Throw a surprise birthday party for a friend who has been going through a bad time, and who hasn’t had time to plan their own birthday party.

8) Bring breakfast for everyone in the office

9) Spend time with someone much older than myself

10) Organize a night out with the coworkers so that everyone can get to know each other and have fun in a more cool setting

11) Pack up a bunch of lunches and give them out to the homeless people i pass every day.

12) Get my License

Inspired by: Website

Portrait of an INFJ

While reading up on the 16 different types of personalities (psychology has always been an interest factor), i came across a number of websites that puts you through a series of questions and determines one’s personality(one being http://www.16personalities.com/). Being curious and suffering from another sleepless night – i decided to spend the time under the moonlight understanding myself better.

The result, as the title indicates, puts me as a INFJ (Introverted Intuition with Extraverted Feeling). As i read through, i felt like i was reading my own diary – each statement described me with jaw-dropping accuracy –

According to the outcome, the INFJ type is believed to be very rare (less than 1 percent of the population) and it has an unusual set of traits. Their primary mode of living is focused internally; taking things in primarily via intuition. The secondary mode is external, where they deal with things according to how they feel about them, or how they fit with their personal value system. INFJs are gentle, caring, complex and highly intuitive individuals. Artistic and creative, they live in a world of hidden meanings and possibilities

Even though their presence can be described as very quiet, INFJ personalities usually have many strong opinions, especially when it comes to issues they consider really important in life. If an INFJ is fighting for something, this is because they believe in the idea itself, not because of some selfish reasons. INFJs are protective of their inner selves, sharing only what they choose to share when they choose to share it. They are deep, complex individuals, who are quite private and typically difficult to understand. INFJs hold back part of themselves, and can be secretive.

But the INFJ is as genuinely warm as they are complex. INFJs hold a special place in the heart of people who they are close to, who are able to see their special gifts and depth of caring. INFJs are concerned for people’s feelings, and try to be gentle to avoid hurting anyone.

Cloud Atlas

INFJ personalities are drawn towards helping those in need – they may rush to the place of a major disaster, participate in rescue efforts, does charity work etc. INFJs see this as their duty and their purpose in life – people with this personality type firmly believe that nothing else would help the world as much as getting rid of all the tyrants. Karma and similar concepts are very attractive to INFJs.

These tendencies are also strengthened by the fact that INFJ personalities have a unique combination of idealism and decisiveness – this means that their creativity and imagination can be directed towards a specific goal. Few other personality types have this trait and this is one of the most important reasons why many INFJs are able to eventually realize their dreams and make a lasting positive impact.

INFJs are masters of written communication, with a distinctively smooth and warm language. In addition, the sensitivity of INFJs allows them to connect to others quite easily. Their easy and pleasant communication can often mislead bystanders, who might think that the INFJ is actually an extrovert. In the workplace, the INFJ usually shows up in areas where they can be creative and somewhat independent. They have a natural affinity for art, and many excel in the sciences, where they make use of their intuition. INFJs can also be found in service-oriented professions. They are not good at dealing with minutia or very detailed tasks. The INFJ will either avoid such things, or else go to the other extreme and become enveloped in the details to the extent that they can no longer see the big picture. An INFJ who has gone the route of becoming meticulous about details may be highly critical of other individuals who are not.

Because the INFJ has such strong intuitive capabilities, they trust their own instincts above all else. This may result in an INFJ stubbornness and tendency to ignore other people’s opinions. They believe that they’re right. On the other hand, they have strong value systems, and need to live their lives in accordance with what they feel is right. In deference to the Feeling aspect of their personalities, INFJs are in some ways gentle and easy going. Conversely, they have very high expectations of themselves, and frequently of their families. They don’t believe in compromising their ideals.

INFJs should be careful to avoid “overheating” as their zeal and determination can sometimes get out of hand. As introverts, INFJs need to have some “alone time” every once in a while or otherwise their internal energy reserves will get depleted really quickly. If this happens, the INFJ may surprise everybody around them by withdrawing from all their activities for a while – and since other people usually see INFJs as extroverts, this can leave them both surprised and concerned.

The INFJ individual is gifted in ways that other types are not. Life is not necessarily easy for the INFJ, but they are capable of great depth of feeling and personal achievement.

Learning to Dance

Dear Blog,

My return is simply the self-realization over the importance of expressing myself from time to time is what keeps my sanity in check. Henceforth, you shall be my listening ear on a regular basis.

As you know, like the character Mr.Bean as seen in the video, I too turned the lights off and ran away. But there were no laughs. The one person in the room (comfort zone) which i viewed as my life didn’t accept me for who i was, simply because i couldn’t dance (be perfect as they saw fit). The reality is, i was never going to be appreciated for trying; its either i am perfect or not – there are no in betweens – and eventually i experienced what he had and it was very harsh.

What followed was the cautious walk along dark corridors. I took gentle steps to understand my new environment better. But it wasn’t any different, for i further witnessed the lack of appreciation for trying. By now, it seemed certain that all that mattered today, is the final outcome, not the process and I developed this perception that if i kept my contacts to the minimal, I’ll be safe and with time I’ll find my fit – read modern militarization; do more with less – and happiness shall find me for who i was.

I was a fucking retard for thinking that way.

Because the barriers i put up to keep me safe didn’t work on the long run. I simply danced on the spot (being self-centered and looking at own progress) for too long that life became monotonous as if i was on life support. Each day strengthened the discomfort i felt from the uncertainties and I began to learn that i was missing the courage to fall. I saw less of the World.

So recently I’ve been heading towards a direction that i haven’t been familiar with; knocking on more doors than i normally would have. But all i find are these barriers – otherwise known as the rules of “engagement” – which seemed familiar at some point but didn’t quite make sense; like these “English Professors” are all ready to grade my introductory statement.

While in the past, I’ve picked up decent conversations with random people with a simple one liner at some bar or malls; those didn’t work quite as well on the social media. You’re seen as an enemy before friend – quite the opposite on the streets. The internet demands more when you pick conversations; a complete paragraph, like how we did comprehension exercises in tertiary; step 1: read “profile” carefully, step 2: answer the question, you get the idea. The difference being, i don’t really get to see how well I’ve fared – it’s either the silent treatment, which happens very often or a reply that leads to nothingness. There are no second chances.

It eventually struck me that i am merely meeting mirrors of myself with different barriers – that none of us could really dance – as we attempt to control who we want to meet and talk to. As much as i hated the lack of appreciation, there I was once only opening the doors to the end products that I saw fit and I am partially guilty for being hard on myself and others. The practical explanation of calling the self a retard.

I think for the days to come, its never going to be about learning to dance. I just got to keep knocking and on my part, not be critical and make room for anyone as well. I guess it takes two hands to clap after all and I’ve unchained mine.

Paradise

I’ve always been searching for what I believed was paradise. A place that gives a sense of serenity – be it a beach or park, surrounded by green, calm seas and pretty little things – one that I could go out and search for. But as the days went by in my search for such places, I’ve only came to learn that I’ve erred. For the paradise that I sought after is not just some place but rather, moments in life while being part of something. Moments that will leave behind a memory that lasts forever.